Find the Fire Starters

Tribe = the trending word for a close circle of friends (unless I’m now “behind the times” which, if you ask my teenage daughter, is most likely the case).  I used this word once, as a caption of a photo that held some of my favorite ladies; I had consumed just enough Moscow mules to blur the boundary of words I generally dislike and avoid using.

I was not fortunate to be graced with the advantage of lifelong, intimate friendships; I’ve always been a bit envious of women who have those connections.  Although, looking back, I probably had a large hand in the series of events that led to this.  Regardless, I like to think that in my 30s I am making up for that lack in spades.

I am truly grateful to have developed a circle of friends who are near and dear to my heart; we get together for dinners, we celebrate birthdays and moments, we travel together on mini-vacations; we share so much with each other.

There is a small group of a few women who have been especially influential in my life; we are all mothers, all career women.  We began as a more unofficial accountability group and then grew into official accountability partners to each other.  The “meetings” that we have are some of my favorite times.  We inspire, encourage, support and are just generally there for each other.  We chase betterment together, in every aspect of our lives.  Without them I wouldn’t aspire to be half the mother, wife, or woman I hope to become.  We share our challenges, some of our darkest moments, as well as our triumphs; we’ve recently started sharing a daily gratitude practice, to focus on positivity.  There is no judgement, there is only space.

There is a certain magic in finding like-minded people who will share with you.  Who will listen to you, provide feedback for you.  Who will look for the same in you.  Not only do you grow in being able to confide in these people, but you grow by being their confidant as well.

If you are looking for a way to push beyond where you are at, evaluate your circle.  Are those closest to you on the same level, or, even better, aspiring to be a better version of themselves?  It’s entirely too easy to gather with friends or colleagues and unravel into gossip and drama, or worse, griping and complaining; to get caught up with people who are in love with talking about their struggles, but aren’t willing to put in the effort to change.  It’s easier to talk about our complaints; we find solace in finding others who feel just like us.  More often than not, we try to top their stories with one that might even be worse.  That shit wears us down; not just those who are doing the complaining, but those doing the listening as well.

If you find that your conversations and get-togethers with others drains you emotionally and physically, slowly start to change the social system around you.  Branch out.  Find people who are talking about growth, about change, about their joys, about finding their “thing”, those who are talking about abundance and gratitude.  Find new platforms to form relationships and bonds; find the inspirational, the supportive, the encouraging.  Even if you’re simply adding pages and profiles through social media, it’s a way to bring awareness into your day that makes you think a bit differently.  In elevating your circle, and your consumption, you will find that successful, motivated, aspiring people feed off of each other.  You will start to want to be someone who inspires others to better themselves.  Find people who are making things happen; you’ll find that you are inspired to do the same.

Find your tribe.  Find people who make you feel alive.  Who make you want to be a better version of yourself.  Find people who set you on fire.